I am a people pleaser. Thats just my nature. Its not an easy thing for me to go against the grain. I like to make people happy. And I like people to like me. I think thats everyone to a certain extent. If we had a choice for people to like or dislike us, we would pick for them to like us. But I tend to be a people pleaser to a fault. I remember this was an apparent trait I had that was seen early on in my childhood. Especially during interactions between my brother Andy and myself.
Andy was more of antagonist. He enjoyed a good debate. And at times, he would debate with people even when he really knew he was wrong. If you said the sky was blue, he would argue that it was actually a shade of aqua. I remember when Andy would get in trouble with my parents, he would argue his innocence regardless of if he was right or wrong. I would always tell him to just shut his mouth and apologise. That way it would just blow over. But Andy would extend the conflict by defending himself anyway he could.
I was different. If I got into any kind of trouble, I would quickly apologise and admit my wrong doing. I would even do this if I knew I wasnt at fault as to avoid dragging it out and just end the discussion. I lived by three phrases when I was a kid, and I repeated them Im sure hundreds of times…
“You’re right.”
“Im wrong.”
“Im sorry.”
I used this formula to avoid conflict so many times as a kid my mom eventually caught on and coined a new word to define what I was doing. She called it “Face Time.” Eventually this backfired on me because if I argued with my parents, there was conflict. And if I told my mom what she wanted to hear, she would accuse me of giving her “face time” and not really being sincere of my wrong doing. There is a danger in not picking a side, because eventually, people can see that you are trying to please them instead of telling them the truth.
The most glamorized pastors in the world are the ones who are masters at giving “face time.” They are basically salesmen for Christ. They elaborate on all the benefits and “people pleasing” qualities of God like forgiveness and love while avoiding real issues such as the call to repentance in the life of believers. These glamorized salesmen even go so far as to boil following Christ down to a simple formula of four steps.
1. Ask God into your heart.
2. Pray for forgiveness.
3. Welcome to the family of God.
4. Continue living however you want, because if you sin, just repeat steps one and two.
Now God is a forgiving God. And God will forgive. But people that are sold on this easy believism concept of Christianity have not been told about a key element in the salvation process. That being repentance. Again, repentance is a turning away from the person you were before Christ. As I tend to point out alot, 1 Corinthians tells us that when we come to Christ, we become a new person. So why do some pastors leave out repentance? Because they are people pleasers to a fault.
Recently we bought a used car here in Panama. We spent a few weeks making the decision and finally picked a nice looking SUV big enough to haul my family of six around Central America. The salesman was quick to fill me in on all the perks of the car.
“It was hardly ever driven by its previous owner.”
“The car is great for traversing the many unfinished roads that are normal here in Panama.”
“The gas mileage is great.”
It all sounded so great we made the purchase. And the car drove great for the first four weeks we had it. Then out of no where, the engine failed. The salesman failed to mention that the car had previous engine problems. He gave us the good points and avoided parts of the story that may detour us from buying the car. We couldnt fully count the costs of what we were getting into because we didnt get the whole story upfront. Luckily, we have some good friends here that are helping us get the problems fixed, but it would have been nice to get the real story on the car upfront.
And some will preach only the easy side to Christianity. Some even make overboard statements to lead people to make a committment.
“If you have Jesus, all of your relationships will be better!”
“If you accept Christ, you will be blessed financially.”
“To follow Christ, it only takes a second to pray a prayer and you dont have to give up anything!”
Making a committment is not a problem. But what is being committed to? A faith that lives by these standards is getting people to commit to a church, not to God. Many of the biggest churches in America are the ones that have master salesmen behind the pulpit, and are experts at face time.
Lets take a look at the pitch Jesus used to win people over into following him.
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26.
“He (Jesus) said to another man, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:59-60.
“Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:61-62.
Jesus is not a salesman. He doesnt tell us what we want to hear, he tells us the truth. The words of Christ are hard, but not intended to promote insensitivity. The call to hate means to love less. We are to love our family, but when compared to our love for Christ it is to look like hate. Jesus is not telling us to avoid mourning a death. But when a death interferes with Gods will being done, Gods work comes as priority.
I heard a story of a missionary who was planting churches in another country. He received word that his mother had died back in the USA and was asked to come home for the burial by his family. A trip home would set back much of the work he was accomplishing for Christ, so he made the decision not to go to the funeral. Was the insensitive and cold on the part of this missionary? Many would say yes. How could he not drop everything and return home to see his mother buried? Or were his actions that of a devote follower of Christ?
You see, Jesus was not being insensitive to a loved one passing. But it boils down to a matter of beliefs and priorities. As Christians, Christ is to be our top priority over everything. And if we are true believers in what the bible tells us, we know that when death comes, the soul is gone. That person is now in one of two places depending on their faith while on earth, and all that is left is an empty shell. Christ is essentially saying, “If you are furthering Gods kingdom, dont stop working to watch an empty shell return to dirt, carry on with the mission, because we do not have a moment to waste!!”
Again, a man tells Jesus that he will follow but first he must return home and tell his family goodbye. Christ is not being insensitive, but merely showing us how much more of a priority following him should be in our lives. When Christ calls, nothing is more important. And with more and more people dying and going to Hell, many of which have been sold a false version of Christianity, there is not a second to waste. We are to have a sense of urgency. Christianity is not a laid back club of people who have fire insurance and can live life on their terms. We answer to a higher calling and are a part of a mission.
If a soldier refuses to participate in war, is he really a soldier? In the same manner, if a christian has no urgency in making Christ THE priority of life, is he or she really a Christian? The deeper I get into my faith, the more people have told me that some of the comments I make regarding the Bible tend to step on their toes. Honestly, some of the comments I make step on my own toes. Thats why I make them. We all…including myself…need to realize daily that following Christ is not an easy lifestyle, its one of intense committment. And when we witness to people, we dont need to be salesmen and present the gospel in the form of a no committment, easy to swallow pill that will make our lives perfect.
When we do this…..when we tell people becoming a Christian will make life easy, we leave out the most important part of Christianity….we leave out Christ. Because we cant say “I will follow Jesus, as long as I dont have to look like him.”
If Christianity ensures financial security, then why was Jesus poor?
If Christianity ensures great relationships, then why was Jesus rejected by his family and friends?
If Christianity is painless and without sacrifice, then why was Jesus beaten and tortured on the cross?”
The sales pitch for following Christ shouldnt be, “Follow Jesus and life will be great!” The sales pitch for Christianity should be, “You will be rejected, people may hate you, and you could possibly die for your beliefs.” But the good news is that for this level of committment, when God looks at us he doesnt see our sin, he sees the blood of his son covering us, and we are one of HIS!
“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money tocomplete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’ Luke 14:28-30.
Jesus wants us to count the cost of being his disciple before we make the committment. He doesnt want partially committed Christians. Some may think that if they are partially committed to Jesus its better than no committment at all. Actually Jesus is saying partial committment is as good as no committment at all.
“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.” Luke 14:34-25.
As Christians we are to be salt to a lost world. But if we are salt that is not salty, then Jesus is saying essentially, “What good is that!” You cant claim to be salt if you are not salty! And we cant claim that we are Christians if we are not committed totally to the cause of Christ!
Before anyone decides to follow Christ, the costs must be counted. What good is it to start something as the parable of the builder pointed out, and not follow it through to completion? Its easy to think that coming to Christ is easy, and nothing has to really change. But according to Jesus, everything must change. David Platt did a sermon on these very verses listed about. The title of his sermon was, “I Want to Talk You Out of Following Christ.” Now talking people out of salvation was really not the point of his sermon. Rather it was to point out that being a Christian is more of a committment than many people think these days.
These verses really caused me to reevaluate my walk with Christ. How closely are you walking with Jesus? Are you all in for Jesus, or are you committed as long as it doesnt inconvenience you? Human nature makes it easy for all of us to fall into the latter category. Thats why it is so important for us to be always constantly connected to God through the word. Otherwise, we conform our Christianity to what is deemed appropriate in the worlds eyes, not Gods. Ive learned you cant be a people pleaser and follow Christ. Committment in any form is tough. But the best things in life require work. Marriage is committment. Raising kids is committment. There is no compromise or partiality in either of these. You cant be a halfway committed husband or wife. You cant be a halfway committed parent. And commitment to Jesus requires an all in mentality. We live no longer for ourselves, but the one who redeemed us and saved us from ourselves!
