Ill never forget my first grade teacher Mrs. Limeburger. I was at an awkward and unsure time, being fairly new to the school system and transitioning from kindergarten to first grade. No longer did the assignments consist of coloring and stacking blocks. Now we had entered into addition and subtraction of numbers. Math. The word still to this day sends chills down my spine. Math was one subject that I really had a tough time grasping.
And Mrs. Limeburger didnt make it any easier. She had no sympathy in class, especially to those of us who were having a hard time. I remember one day in particular, I was really having a hard time with a math problem in class. Mrs. Limeburger kept trying to show me how to solve the problem, but it just wasnt making sense to me. Finally she snapped, and said something like, “Is your brain just not working? This is ridiculous that you cannot get this!” She said this in front of the whole class, and I was mortified.
That night, I told my parents of what had happened that day. I remember saying to my mom, “The next time she snaps at me Im just gonna tell her to stop being ugly!” But my mom told me to be respectful and continue to be a good boy. I didnt understand this. Why would my mom tell me to just let this teacher verbally abuse me and for me to not stand up for myself? As much as it went against what I wanted to do, I listened to my mom.
The next day at school was hard. Mrs. Limeburger was her usually snappy self with the class. I meekly kept my mouth shut and my head down as to not draw any attention to myself in class. At the end of the day, the bell rang for dismissal to go home. But as I was gathering my book bag to leave, I saw my mom walk in the classroom door. She squatted down to hug me. Then she told me to wait for her in the hallway.
I dont know what my mom said to Mrs. Limeburger that day. But my teacher never snapped at me or anyone else in that class again. One thing was obvious, my mother had taken up for me and told Mrs. Limeburger of her wrongs. And knowing my mom, Im sure said something like, “If you EVER speak to my baby that way again…….”
“But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” Matthew 5:39
Jesus tells us when someone wrongs us to turn the other cheek. Basically to let it go. I never really understood that verse. Human nature wants to lash right back. To tell them they are wrong and to show them with my actions that I am upset. When my feelings are hurt by someone, I want to defend myself and let the other person know they are wrong! So why would Jesus tell me to just ignore when I am wronged?
“Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. (Romans 12:19).
Because those who wrong us, God will deal with them in his own way. It might be while they are on this earth or it may before his Throne one day….we dont know where or how, but God tells us that we should not have a heart of revenge or “you hurt me so Ill show you” because if we are in Christ, revenge is his, not ours. Think about our own children. If a teacher at school was rude to your child, would you tell he or she to be rude back to that teacher? No. We would tell them to keep being a good, respectful child because the way our children behave is a reflection on how we have raised them as parents. Most of us would tell our children to always be respectful, but then as parents, we would deal with that teacher one on one. God deals with those who hurt us the same way.
We are a reflection of Christ, our father, to the world around us. And being our father, revenge is his to take, not ours.
“Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. (Matthew 5:44).
“Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it.” (1 Peter 3:9)
And one of my favorites……
“Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible. Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, ‘I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it,’ says the Lord. Instead, do what the Scriptures say: ‘If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink, and they will be ashamed of what they have done to you’. Don’t let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good.” (Romans 12:17-21).
The bible tells us that we are to not take revenge, but to forgive others when they hurt us or wrong us. Think of a time you may have been undeserving, yet someone forgave you. Think of Christ. We have slandered his commandments, lived disobediently, and through our sin, nailed him to the cross. He didnt have to die. Jesus is God. He could have called on a legion of angels to take him up to Heaven and let us die in our sins. He didnt have to go through that torture, but he chose to. Because he loved us so much, that he was willing to spill his blood so that ours might be spared. Remember, love is a choice.
And its not always easy to love others, especially when they hurt us. So many people seek revenge or end relationships after they are hurt by someone. And its because they feel more anger than love for that person. But they are the ones who are wrong. Because they dont know the meaning of love. Real love is sacrifice. You choose to love and you choose to forgive. Forgiveness and love are choices, not feelings. Again, Jesus didnt have to die. He could have chosen not to go to the cross. But he swallowed the pain we caused him. He chose to love us. He chose to forgive us. If someone has wronged you, dont wait until you “feel” like forgiving them. Dont treat forgiveness like something its not. Its not a feeling, its a choice.
“And don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior” (Ephesians 4:26-27,31).
As the verses above tell us, anger and an unforgiving heart gives Satan a foothold in our lives. Anger has a devastating effect on our relationship with God as well as with others. Over time we’ll take our anger out on those around us. It consumes us unless we deal with it. Satan wants us to hold grudges. He wants us to seek vengeance. Because doing so makes us more like the world and less like Jesus.
So you may ask, “How do I even begin on the path to forgiveness?”
Jesus said, ““Without Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5).
If we dont know Jesus…if we dont have a relationship with him where we soak in his word daily, then it is impossible for us to understand this concept. The kingdom of Heaven does not operate like this world does. The rich will be below the poor, the selfish will be humbled by the servants, and those wronged will be forgiving. God doesnt offer our worlds standard version of conditional love. Humanities mantra is, “Ill love you as long as you dont hurt me.” Gods version of that is, “I have and will always love you, even though you continue to hurt me….I will never give up on you.”
After Jesus taught the apostles about forgiveness (Luke 17:3-5) they said to him, “Give us more faith!” Forgiving is not easy. It takes the strength of God to truly be able to let go. It takes faith and much prayer to say to someone, “I will repay this evil with good. I will not hate you.”
Do not deny that you have been hurt. Forgiving is not denying. Make a decision to forgive others (Luke 17:3-5). Do not seek revenge or repay evil for evil. Let God handle it in his perfect way (1 Peter 3:9). Ask Jesus to help you release the anger inside you (Ephesians 4:26-27,31). Pray for a forgiving heart and read what the Bible says about the subject. Pray for those who have hurt you (Matthew 5:44). And do not give Satan the satisfaction of robbing you of the power of unconditional love and a forgiving heart. Just as a parent seeks seeks to wipe the tears of their hurt child and chastise those who hurt them, so does Jesus in our favor.
