Plain Truth

Lacy and I have this funny little thing we did when we were dating.  We could never and still can’t keep secrets from one another.  When we wanted to make absolutely sure the other was telling the truth about something, we would say, “Do you promise on our relationship?”  So high school and immature I know, but it was funny to us and just one of those things that make us…well…Charlie and Lacy!  I remember once on her birthday she had really wanted a pair of pearl ear rings.  She asked me if I got her those ear rings for her birthday.  I told her I didn’t when in reality I had.  Then she brought out the heavy artillery.  “Do you promise on our relationship?”  In which all I could do is remain silent.  Dead giveaway.  But that was the phrase we used that demanded the truth no matter what.

 When I was younger, us kids would often say, “I swear” to make a point.  In order to put an emphasis on the fact that we were telling the truth.  It’s sad to hear but people in today’s society swear by God’s name in order to make a point.  We use the words, “I swear” as easy as breathing.  I don’t use God’s name, but I have found myself swearing to capitalize on the fact that I am being totally truthful.  But why should we have to reinforce the fact that we are ever telling the truth?  According to Jesus, we should NEVER swear by anything.

   Matthew Chapter 5 says, “²² “Again you have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘Do not take a false oath, but make good to the Lord all that you vow.’ But I say to you, do not swear at all; ²³ not by heaven, for it is God’s throne; nor by the earth, for it is his footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Do not swear by your head, for you cannot make a single hair white or black.  Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’ Anything more is from the evil one.

 Did you get that?  We are not even to swear by the hairs on our heads!  Basically what credibility does swearing really hold?  None whatsoever!  Jesus says that we are to let our YES mean YES and NO mean NO.  Basically speak the truth always.  There should be no reason for us to swear by or to something in order to drive home our point.  It’s another one of those things that we never really think about until we run across it in the Bible.  The next time someone asks you to swear you are telling the truth, let them know that your word is your bond.  That you always speak the truth because the savior that lives in you is THE Truth!

He Looks Out For Us

Sorry for slacking on updating this week.  Ive been battling a stomach bug.  Not fun. 

John Davidson was fresh out of college with the a literal silver spoon handed to him. One of his professors hand landed him an interview with The AON Corporation, a very big insurance company. Landing a position right out of school with AON was a far shot. Getting your foot in the door for an interview was even harder. But with the endorsement of his professor who was very connected with some of the VIP’s on the inside, John had nothing to worry about.

John had been very careful as to set all the alarm clocks in his house just to be on the safe side and not over sleep. He didn’t take into account a power outage in the middle of the night. As a result none of the alarms went off, and John was running late. He knew first impressions were everything, and being late for an interview would pretty much close this door. “God why did this have to happen today of all days!”

John had a motorcycle and after a rushed shower and clean up, he jumped on his bike and started the motor. Only the motor didn’t start.
Some delinquent had ciphered all the gas out of his tank. Furious John began screaming curses at God. “Why today God? What have I done to deserve this? Do you just hate me?” Quickly John ran to hail a cab. This took a good while. After finally grabbing a cab he realized that he could make it if he hurried. Then it happened. His cab was rear ended and damaged pretty badly. John was unharmed except for his broken heart.

He was now going to be late. But still he decided to run on foot. He was only a few blocks away but was already ten minutes late. Then he heard a crash overhead. A plane had just slammed into the building he was to be interviewed in…The World Trade Center. If John had made his appointment on time he would have been in the tower the plane hit on one of the top floors. The date was 9-11.

We all have bad days. We all have things happen in our lives that we don’t understand why things are happening. We may even curse God and accuse Him of hurting us. When in reality, he could be using our trials to protect us from something worse he foresees in our future.   Trust Him in the midst of your struggles.  He always has your best interest at heart.

Lacy’s Addiction

Today’s blog is going to be a little different, this one comes from my wife, Lacy.  She said that this was on her heart to share.  Enjoy!  ……

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I am 9 months clean.  Clean from a addiction that I have had for many years and when I say for many years, I mean as far back as I can remember.  Addictions can come in many fashions, drugs, alchohol, money, lust, food and on and on.  My addiction was Soap operas and everyday Hollywood drama.  Nine months ago Soaps were a everyday thing for me.  I even recorded them.  And if we were out of town I was the first to buy my Soap Digest or even jump on the internet to view my Soaps. I didn’t realize the hold my addiction had on me.  I was so concerned with who was marrying who, who’s baby was who’s, who killed so and so, and on and on the stories go.  Soaps are not reality and to me they were my normal.

Earlier this year Charlie and I went through the most amazing experience as husband and wife, we decided to let God have control of us, our marriage, our family and our business.  (as if He was not incontrol already)  God and Jesus became the center of our whole world.  When this happened God gave me the following scripture: “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness.”  Matthew 6:22-23

I started to notice that when I made the decision to really examine myself and my temptations, they really began to stand out.  I had never noticed much but when I go to the grocery store at every checkout there are Soap digest and a lot of Hollywood magazines screaming at me.  “Look at me.  Don’t you want to see?”  Then I realize that Satan is not far from me.  He knows my HOT buttons and my ever struggle.  You see Satan didn’t just attack me today he builds his attack.  He began with one block and then 2 blocks and then 2 became 10 and then 10 became 100 and before I knew it, he had built a skyscrapper, my addiction to Soaps.  I gave him control of me.  I believe with all my heart that every ungodly temptation or addiction is strictly from Satan.  Nothing good will come from him, only death.

So, everything I was watching in my Soaps was nothing but darkness filling my body, God’s temple.   Well if that did scare me, I don’t know what would.  I want to be a light.  I want the world to see the light of Jesus beaming from my soul.  
In my everyday walk I am more aware of my surroundings.  Last night, I ran to the grocery store to grab a few things for dinner and what is waiting on me at the checkout, my addiction.  So, I imediatley remind myself of Matthew 6:22-23 and I picked up a Paula Dean cooking magazine.  I will not let this world or Satan gain control of me.  To be tempted is not a sin.  Temptations are a part of life.  Even Jesus was tempted.  It doesnt say in the Bible the devil tried to tempt Jesus.  It says “(Jesus) has been tempted in every way, just as we are” (Hebrews 4:15). The difference between us and Jesus is that he resisted temptation where as we tend to justify ours.    So, I beg you to be aware of your addictions and things you are tempted by.  The next time you come across your addiction I want you to try something for me, memorize and learn Matthew 6:22-23.  Say it out loud or to yourself and you will feel the release from your addiction.  Fight with what God has given you, His word.  Next, run from your addiction or temptation.  Just like I was in the check out I used God’s word and then I picked up a cooking magazine.  I have even called my husband, Charlie just to talk.  Don’t let your addiction steal you focus and fill your soul.  But, remember we all fall short and if you fall go to your Father in Heaven and ask for his unconditional love and forgiveness.   Fill yourself with The Light of the World, Jesus

Faith Put in Action

Action figures have taken over our household.  Spiderman, Batman, He-Man, and just about any other plastic reconfiguration of these heroes can be found littering our hallways.   Right now we are working on clean up time with Andy.  If he drags them out of his play chest, he is expected to return them to the same place when he is done.  He hasn’t quite caught on to the concept yet.  And due to this, Optimus Prime suffered a detached leg last night due to daddy accidentally stepping on him.  Honestly I really didn’t even realize what I had done until Andy came over to me later and asked me if I could fix the leader of the Autobots.

 I sat down as I have many times before to take a look at the damaged toy.  Andy, trusting that daddy would fix it all, left me with the broken toy and started off to play with his other figures.  I called my little man over and said, “I want you to help daddy fix your toy.”  “But you can do it by yourself daddy!” He replied.  That was true, but what would he learn if I did all the work?  We sat down and together, we snapped the broken leg back into place.  Now when a toy is broken we sit down together and see if we can figure out the source of the problem.

 Recently a friend of mine was really struggling with trusting God.  His financial situation was not the greatest and he was really struggling.  He told me he was tithing in hopes God would bless Him but noting was happening.  Things seemed to be getting worse.  He had the wrong mentality.  He was basically saying that he was tithing and God wasn’t doing anything.  He was putting his faith in the hope that things would improve if he just tithed.  I asked this friend what he was doing about his situation.  He informed me that he was recently out of a job and was just praying that God would show him the job he was suppose to have.  He was giving God all the work.

 One of my close friends was going through a bout with depression a few years ago.  My pastor had asked them their method to beating their negative mind frame and the response was, “I’m taking it day by day.  In time God will heal me.”  In the meantime they just sat at home day after day, never venturing out, never making the effort to get their mind on more uplifting things.  Again, they were depending on God to do the work.

 James 2:20 says, “…that faith without works is dead.”  God will intercede on our behalf, but we have to be willing to meet Him halfway.  We have to be willing to do some of the work to repair the broken parts of our lives.  This can also play into our trust with God.  I am a worrier.  I tend to let my mind go to the worst possible scenario when a troublesome situation comes up.  I pray to God about things but I continue to worry.  What I have to remind myself is that worry is a sin.  Worry is lack of faith in God.  I can say I have faith the God will take care of me and my family but if I continue worrying, I have failed to give it up to God.  I’m basically telling God that I really don’t trust he will take care of me.

 An example of the disciples not having faith in God is seen in the 28^th chapter of Mark.  The disciples and Jesus are out in the ocean on a boat when a storm blows their way.  The boat is being tossed too and fro and they are all panicked.  All except Jesus who is sound asleep through the storm.  They hurry and wake Jesus from his slumber telling Him of the terrible storm and I’m sure shocked that he was asleep.  Jesus replied to them, “Ye of little faith”, and then calmed the storm.  He knew that everything would be fine.

 What are you worried about today?  You can say you have faith that God will take care of the problem, but do you really?  Are you meeting God halfway in your faith process or are you staying status quo and hoping he will do all the work?

Its In the Genes

The sweetest time to really appreciate your children is when they are asleep.  I don’t say that because they are not appreciated when they are awake.  But in sleep, they are still and quiet.  Lincoln usually falls asleep between Lacy and I in our bed before we move him to his crib.  He is one year old.  And when he is awake, he is running everywhere non stop.  But in his slumber, I take into account my little miracle.  Last night as Lacy and Lincoln lay sleeping beside me, I leaned over and gently kissed his little cheek.  I studied his facial features.  He has Lacys smile, but he has my nose.  He has Lacys energy, but he has my eyes.  He has Lacys facial structure, but he has my height.  He is truly a little miracle from God.

 I held his little hand as he slept and studied every finger and thumb.  I have a slightly crooked pinky finger on my left hand.  I noticed last night that Lincoln has the same crooked finger on the same hand.  My fingers are extremely long.  My mom said they resembled alien tentacles when I was born.  Lincoln has the same long appendages.  I notice more and more daily how much he looks and acts like me. My three year old son Andy is a work of art as well.  Tall and skinny, just like I was at his age. Although he has his mother’s contagious personality, he favors me more than Lincoln does in appearance.  Even in the little things.  Things that I find so amazing that can be passed down through generations.  I have this bump on my right ear.  It is where the cartilage just goes upward more than a normal ear would.  Andy has the same unique bump on his ear in the same place.  He also has my creative spirit.  His imagination is endless as was mine growing up.  Everything in the house is a prop for his crime fighting adventures. 

 I also have a small circular birth mark on my right side.  Lincoln got the same birth mark twice over.  Once on the left side of his little bottom and once on his lower back.  I was kissed by the angels only once, but he was kissed twice.  It goes even deeper into our likes and dislikes.  I used to love horror movies.  I still do, but I’ve cut them out as of late.  Nothing praises Jesus more than watching blood thirsty killers on the loose, right?  But Andy has the same tastes as his father.  He loves Scooby Doo cartoons because of all the ghost and goblins in each episode.  He also loves Casper the Friendly Ghost cartoons.  He chases monsters all around the house, unless one of the rooms is too dark.

 And the older I get, the more I realize how much I look like my dad.  I never noticed it before, but people will come into our gym that I have never met and tell me I’m the spitting image of my dad, whom they know from somewhere.  We walk the same, and have the same facial expressions…or so I’m told. 

 Just like our physical father, we are made in the very image of our Heavenly father.  How awesome is that!  “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27. The next time you are down on yourself remember that you were made in the image of God.  But how much you truly resemble your maker is up to you.  One of my favorite books is Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado.  In the book he challenges us to strive to be just like our savior.  It’s in our attitudes and how we react to situations.  And how we treat each other. 

 How much do you resemble your Heavenly Father?

Are You a Fanatic?

Have you ever gone to a baseball game and seen how supportive fans can be?  How dedicated they can be to their team?  I remember in college at Alabama games the lengths some of the students would go to pledge their support.  It was November and cold.  And just so you know I’m about as die hard a Bama fan as you can get.  I had my Crimson Tide hat and coat on as well as my shakers.  A few of my buddies even painted their faces Crimson.  But I saw a much more dedicated fan a few rows down from me.  Three guys in the freezing November weather had no shirts and were painted from their torso to their faces in Crimson.  And they didn’t appear as if the cold bothered them one bit! 

 There is another pair of fans whom you can see at any Alabama game to this day.  One of them comes dressed in rolls of toilet paper, and his friend comes dressed as a box of laundry cleaner named Tide.  Hence, “Roll Tide”, Alabama’s war cry.  You can see these type of fans in all sports.  From football to basketball all the way to NASCAR, fans will go to the extreme to pledge their allegiance.  Some would call it fanatical.  And the more fanatical you are about your team, the more you are looked upon as a true fan of your sport.  Its sort of like a badge of honor.

 But there is a type of fanaticism that is looked down upon for the most part.  It even has its own label.  A name that is more of a slap at its supporters than a label.  Have you ever been labeled a “Religious Fanatic?”  First let me say that I really don’t like for some reason, Christians being labeled as “Religious” bothers me.  Maybe it’s because I don’t consider Christianity “a religion.”  I consider it “the only religion.”  All the other so called religions are just fairy tales.  “I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6.  I am not one to be tolerant or respectful of other religions because there is only one God.  And His name is Jesus Christ. 

 I used to be pretty timid about sharing my faith.  I didn’t want to be rejected or be thought of as “a fanatic”.  But those days are gone.  I have been labeled a fanatic.  I remember I had an actor online through Myspace a few years ago.  He lived in California and was about my age.  He wasn’t known, but he was trying to make it.  I myself was doing a bit of acting back then so we just encouraged each other and compared notes occasionally.  One day I posted a review on a movie that was very sac religious.  I wrote a review on my Myspace page saying that I wouldn’t recommend the movie because of how Christians were portrayed in it.  The guy whom I thought was my friend blasted back a nasty email calling me a religious fanatic and a Bible thumper.  I was pretty surprised.  But then I remembered what Jesus said about His followers and how the world will view us.  “”If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. John 15:18. 

 Look back in the Bible at John the Baptist.  Preaching the word of God in the wilderness and Baptizing those who accepted salvation.  The world thought he was crazy.  To the point where King Herod had him beheaded.  (Matthew 14:1-12.) 

 So I have came to the conclusion that yes, I am a fanatic.  A Christ Fanatic.  I want to be known as one of His followers.  When I think of what Jesus did for me, the way he gave His life for me, I still get overwhelmed.  If you are greatful for Jesus giving His life to erase our sins, don’t just claim His name.  Don’t just wear the title Christian because you live in the Bible belt.  If you love Christ, live it.  Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to praise Him or to tell others about Him.  Don’t have reservations for standing up for things you know are not right.  Don’t be ashamed….be fanatical.  “But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven. Matthew 10:33.

 This video I found sums up what Christ did for you and me.  If watching this doesn’t make you a “Jesus Freak”, I wonder what will.  See what you think. God Bless.

The Vacent Space

Christmas time is almost here.  And there is one place around our family tree that is vacant and has been for almost a decade.  My brother Andy.  Andy was involved in a fatal skiing accident while on a mission trip in Utah.  He was only 21 years old.  But we have so many special memories of my brother that he left us with.  So many wonderful experiences.

 I tell Lacy quite often, I believe if Andy were still living when she first started attending our church, she may have ended up with him instead of me!  Where as I tend to be shy and reserved, Andy was outgoing.  If there were a word that described super outgoing that would be him.  The old saying “never met a stranger” defiantly applied to him.  He greeted any new person and welcomed them as if he had known them forever.  If anyone ever had the heart of Christ, my brother did.

 Christmas morning was always fun when we were growing up.  But when it came to getting up early, I would prefer to sleep in and then open presents.  I would get so annoyed because Andy would be awake at 6 AM and wake everyone in the house up.  Once I was up I was just as ready for presents as he was. Our parents would go downstairs first and we had to stay upstairs until they got their cameras set.  Once we got the go ahead, it was a race down the stairs and into the living room where Santa had left our stash. 

 I know many families who take their time and sit around the tree opening one present at a time.  That would have never worked in our house.  Once in the living room it was a free for all.  Ripping into presents and boxes.  When the morning was over the room looked like a hamsters cage full of paper scraps.  As we got older things didn’t change much.  We still raced down the stairs to see what wonders the morning held and papers were still strewn all about the room.  Andy’s laughter and excitement are most missed this Christmas season.  The way he always grabbed anyone’s camera and took snapshot of himself.  It was his trademark.

 Even though I miss Him terribly, I know that his Christmases now are more special than ever.  His laughter is filling Heaven.  I know instead of racing down the stairs he races to the feet of Jesus in praise.  And if Jesus had a camera, I know that Andy would be filling it with pictures of himself as a Heavenly gag.  The joy he brought here on earth has only been added to a Heavenly paradise.  The vacent space that was once under our tree has been filled by our own children.  And they already know all about their uncle Andy.

In this holiday season, if you have a loved one that is no longer here, remember the good times you had with them.  Remember the laughter and the smiles.  And know that although their time on earth may have expired, their time in Heaven is eternal.  And my brother is there with his “never met a stranger” persona….ready to give them the grand tour of Heaven.

Unexpected Waves

One of the things that have always amazed me is how the human mind works.  I couldn’t tell you what I did this past weekend without really thinking about it, but I can tell you what I was doing one hot summer afternoon when I was five years old.  Its one of the most clear and vivid memories I have.  My family has always vacationed in Destin Florida.  We love it, and I grew up a beach baby.  We also had family living in Destin so we were there all the time.

 It was so hot that day.  I don’t remember that morning, but I’m sure that we packed a lunch and had planned to spend the day as we always did. My memory kicks in when my dad picked me up and sprinted towards the water.  He waded me into the water and then carried me when it began to get to deep for my tiny legs.  I remember being so amazed at the expanse and size of the ocean.  He showed me a school of fish that I wanted to catch and see if they talked like Charlie the Tuna on television.

 Then my world went dark.  As dad was talking to me, probably about the fish, when a huge unexpected wave crashed down upon us and knocked me out of his hands.  I can remember feeling pulled by the current and not knowing which end was up.  And I was scared.  Mainly because I didn’t know where my dad was.  I was in trouble and I was all alone.  When I could hold my breath no longer I inhaled salty sea water and just as my panic began to set in I felt my dads strong hand grab my arm and jerk me to the surface.  Choking and spitting sea water he carried me back to land.  I have asked him about that story often and he tells me that I was only under the water for mere seconds.  But to me it felt like a lifetime.  I was so scared I remember because I couldn’t see dad.  But he told me he never lost sight of me. 

 In the same way, God never loses sight of us.  He never leaves us even when things seem the darkest in our lives.  What may seem like a never ending time of peril, put in perspective to the rest of your life, is actually just going to eventually be a blip on your radar.  We have all been there.  We have all had things happen in our lives that make us feel as if our worlds have turned upside down.  We have all felt alone at times.  But there is one person who is always present, waiting for just the right moment to snatch us out of our dark scary waters and into the sunlight.  Are you scared or worried about something right now?  Do you feel as if God is a million miles away?  He is closer to you than your next breath.  And although you might not see Him, His eyes have never left you…His precious child.

New Blueprints

My three year old has a new thing he likes to do with me.  Up until now his favorite thing was to wrestle or play fight.  Now he is getting more in depth with our playtime.  He is now really into Indiana Jones.  He has a hat like Indy, a play whip, and wears his pajama top unbuttoned to give the appearance of a ripped shirt like Dr. Jones. I of course am one of the bad guys usually.  Sometimes he wants me to be the little boy Short Round who is Indy’s partner in Temple of Doom movie.  He usually makes me walk on my knees in that instance. 

 We have little adventures all over our house.  Looking for buried treasures, fighting bad guys, and climbing mountains.  However, when you play with Andy, you really don’t get to have free will.  Let me explain.  Andy has how things are suppose to play our in our adventures already planned out.  He goes by the movie sometimes.  For example, the other night we were looking for The Lost Ark.  We searched high and low.  Finally, I said, “Indy I found the ark!” as I walked into our closet pretending it was a cave.  And he got furious.  “Daddy, you are not supposed to say that yet!” How was I to know?  I also have to wear what he wants me to and say what he thinks my character should be saying.  I don’t have much of a choice in the matter.  His blueprints are laid out.  And they are not to be varied from. 

 We all have blueprints of how our lives should go in our minds.  We get married, have a few kids, and live happily ever after.  The only bumps in the road we for see are little squabbles in marriage, kids with broken bones, or job changes. But our lives never go according to our plans.  Things happen.  Unemployment.  Adultery.  Cancer.  Drug abuse. Alcoholism.  Death.  We never think anything bad will happen to us.  Its only others, we don’t think our families could ever fall prey to any of these hardships.  But we live in a fallen world. And when things don’t go according to the plan of our original blueprints, it can be devastating. 

 But think back to the birth of Christ. No…go back further.  Think about when Mary was approached by the angel telling her that she would become pregnant while still being a virgin and give birth to the son of God.  Most likely she was in her teens.  She was not married, but engaged to be married to Joseph.  This is not how she had planned things.  This was surly not the blueprint she drew for her life.  Imagine having to tell your parents that you were visited by an angel and pregnant with the son of God.  Also having to tell the man you were to marry that you were pregnant but you had not been unfaithful.

 And this was surly not the blueprint Joseph had for his life. Think about what he must have been thinking initially.  He didn’t believe her. By law back then, for being found unfaithful Mary could have been put to death.  But Joseph did have mercy.  In Deuteronomy Verse 19 it  states “Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.ref  Joseph had planned on divorcing her. His world was shattered for sure.  The dreams of a family and smooth life with Mary were at the moment gone. His emotions must have been all over the place.  Heartbreak. Disbelief. Anger. Love. Confusion. Read on to verse 20 of Deuteronomy.  God visits Joseph in a dream and says to him, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.ref  God was telling Joseph that it was all part of the plan. 

 Life doesn’t always turn out like we planned.  Our blueprints are not always Gods blueprints.  Joseph and Mary went through a hard time I’m sure.  Unbelieving relatives and friends causing them shame must have been so hard.  But they pressed on.  And they trusted in the new blueprint God had given them.  After enduring their trial, the savior of the world was born. 

 Have your blueprints for life been altered?  I read a story about a man who had a goal to swim from the shores of  San Francisco to the legendary prison Alcatraz.  He had a boat follow him just to be on the safe side.  He started swimming strong but he soon began to tire and a terrible fog set in.  He lost sight of his goal and in his frustration, hopped in the boat and gave up.  When the fog cleared, he saw that he was only about fifty yards or so from his goal.  He could have made it.  His blueprint in his mind called for a sunny day and an easy swim. But when things changed he abandoned his goal.  He gave up. 

 Our goal as Christians should be to persevere…to push on even when things don’t go our way. In what area of your life have your blueprints changed on you?  Have circumstances in your marriage left you hurt and confused?  Has your job situation hit rock bottom?  Are you or a loved one battling an addiction that seems to be all consuming?  If so, stop and listen as Jesus says to you, “Don’t give up yet.  It’s all part of my plan.”  For the marriage on the rock, or the employee who just lost his job and house, God allows hardships and changes in our lives to teach us, and for us to grow from.  And most importantly, to give us a testimony to reach others.

 Jon and Sylvia had been married seven years and it seemed more like thirty.  They had started off strong and in love, but things changed.  Jon had begun to abuse alcohol and was emotionally abusive to his wife. They had some really hard years and eventually went to marriage counseling at their church. They were counseled by an older married couple, Rick and Martha Swinton.  Jon and Sylvia through the sessions with this couple saw how much they loved each other and both came to a renewed relationship with Jesus from seeing the example of this older couple. 

 Months later Jon thanked Rick for being such a mentor and helping him straighten out his marriage.  “I just wish we had the kind of love I see that you and Martha have had all along.” Said Jon.  Rick sat Jon down and told him that their younger years were rough.  Jon came to find out that Rick and Martha’s marriage had been through adultery, and almost ended in divorce.  But they didn’t give up, and Jesus changed everything.  Jesus used their tragedy to give new life to their marriage.  Rick and Martha told Jon that they wouldn’t change a thing about their life, because if it wasn’t for the hard times, they would have never experienced the strong love they have today.  And they would have never really known Jesus.

 When the blueprint of our lives changes, God’s glory is revealed.  If things are not going according to your plans right now, surrender to Jesus and pray.  When Jesus was in the Garden praying hours before his crucifixion, he prayed to God that if there was any other way, to let this cup pass from him.  But Jesus then asked that Gods will be done. “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Luke 22:42. In the midst of the fog in your life, pray that God’s will be done, and keep swimming.  Never give up, because victory and a life much sweeter than you ever thought possible might be closer than you think.

The Pecking Order

I’ve always been a pretty good boy.  My mom tells me one of my first phrases I ever uttered was, “I’m a good boy mommy!”  She tells that story to everyone.  Including my wife, who now gets a kick out of getting me to say that so she can hear me say it.  It’s quite hilarious, to her at least.  Even in high school I was never one to get into a lot of trouble.  And even when I did get in hot water, I was always very apologetic and quick to admit my wrong doing.  I know I ruined many a lecture my parents had planned by my submissive attitude.  But there was one instance I remember when I was feeling my oats so to speak and I decided break my good boy record. 

 I had gone out with some friends my senior year of high school.  My parents had asked that I be home no later than 11 PM.  Those were the rules at our house.  I don’t remember if I was just having too good a time or if I actually lost track of time, but I didn’t end up coming home until well past midnight.  I pulled my car up to the house and dimmed the lights as I coasted quietly into the driveway.  I got my key ready and unlocked the back door.  All the lights were off.  All except the kitchen light.  I had to walk through the kitchen to get to the stairs which lead to my room.  I crept into the kitchen where my father sat in his bathrobe waiting.  And by the look on his face, he was boiling mad.  I don’t remember the excuses I had, although I’m sure they were good.  Whatever I said, he wasn’t buying it.  It wasn’t long before my mom had walked downstairs and was witness to my lecture due to my tardiness. 

 I don’t know what prompted me to shoot back, but I did.  My mom had chimed in the lecture and I cut her off mid sentence to address her. I raised my voice as loud as a squeaky adolescent could and said, “Would you just get off my back mom? It’s really not that big of a deal.  Just chill out!!”  Chill out?  After I said it I immediately wanted to lasso those words before they hit my father’s ears.  What I wouldn’t have given to be faster than the speed of sound at the moment.  If my fathers face was red before it was reaching a nice crimson/ purple right about now.  I immediately felt my stomach drop and the hair on my neck began to rise.  I had done it this time.  And my head was sure to roll. 

 But dad regained his composure and didn’t yell.  He walked to the front door and motioned for me to follow him.  But he didn’t stop outside the door.  He walked all the way down to our mailbox, which was a little hike from our front door.  Standing at the mailbox at one in the morning, he came face to face with me.  His words were brief, but I’ve never forgotten what he said.  “Son, I love you.  But if you EVER talk to MY WIFE like that again, there will be serious consequences!”  I remember that was the end of the confrontation.  We have never spoken of that incident again.  And I’ve never spoken like that to my mother again.  But through the years, our mailbox chat taught me a lot about my dad.

 Initially what struck me the hardest was that my father didn’t say “don’t talk to your mother like that.”  He said, “Don’t talk to MY WIFE.” He completely took me out of the equation.   At that point in time, I wasn’t viewed by him as his son.  I was viewed as someone who had just hurt the woman he loved.  I was the bad guy.  He made it clear that if I was to continue living under his room that I would not disrespect his wife.  But he set such an example for me as to how I am to treat my wife.  So many couples who get married and have kids put their children before their spouse.  This blog is open to discussion.  There is no right or wrong answer.  But a friend of mine had told me when I shared this story of my father and I to him that my dad was acting as God intended.  That our God in Heaven is to come first, followed by our spouse, and then our children…   What do you think?  I have seen both types of marriages?  I’ve been witness to marriages where it was apparent that one parent loved the children more than her spouse.  This usually resulted in bickering among the couple because the child could manipulate one parent over the other. 

 And then I have seen the opposite.  My parents love me unconditionally and have always shown me so much love and support.  But it’s apparent that in their marriage, they put one another first.  My father will always put mom’s needs and wants above everyone else in the family.  And mom does the same for dad.  Making sure he is taken care of before anyone else.  Being raised in this kind of atmosphere didn’t make me feel unloved.  Quite the opposite, I felt loved and I felt secure.  Knowing that my parents were that close created an atmosphere of protection and love.  Seeing their connection and love for one another always made me feel so happy.  If I had grown up seeing them squabble and I had gotten my way all the time, an insecure atmosphere would have been created. For me, there was just something reassuring about knowing my mom and dad loved each other that strongly.

 The question is; do you think that spouses should put each other before their children or should the children come before the spouse?  What do you think?